Below is a raw transcript from the audio recording by
Ameila in 2024.(Click to go back)
Hi, I'm Amelia, a grateful member of Alateen. Hi Amelia. So today I've asked my higher power to be with me and give me the words to tell my story from the heart. I am a little nervous just to preface this but yeah. So growing up both of my parents drank.
It was pretty normal for them to come home after work and wind down with a few drinks. And that was like the norm. Like I thought everyone else's family did that and I thought it was normal for other families to get in arguments a lot. And because my parents drank, I had three older brothers but I felt that it was my job to make sure everything goes smoothly. I was always like on my brothers to do their chores and wake up on time and do this, this and this because my parents weren't doing it in the way that I believe they should.
Like I thought that I should be the one to make sure that everything works out. And with that my older brother started calling me a police officer. I would try to get them to do their chores or I would get on them because they weren't doing it right. And they would just be like, oh the police officer is here and they would just make fun of me and that would get me more upset. And I didn't know what to do with my feelings.
I was so angry and so I would lash out. We would argue, even fight. And then my parents started getting sober about seven years ago. It was hard because they also grew up in an alcoholic home. It's always been like a family disease addiction runs deep.
And once they started going to meetings I thought that I would go to Altean and check it out because they would drag me along. So I would just sit there and they like incentivize me with the little snacks and the store and the meeting hall. But then I started going and I just got like a feel for it. I realized that there's hope to change. I don't have to be the angry person all the time.
I don't have to be in control of everything. I learned to take a step back. I've always over committed. I try to do everything that I can because I feel as though I'm capable and no one is able to do it the way that I can. So I have to do everything.
And I like accept all these things that people ask me to do and then when it comes time to it I'm just overwhelmed. Last year was I think the hardest year I've had. I was struggling really badly with depression. And I still tried my hardest to make it to the meetings because even though my mind wasn't there I was still there and I was getting the help. Yesterday one of the speakers said a problem shared is a problem halved.
I really like that resonates a lot because going to the meetings just I feel so much pent up and I don't know what to do with myself and everything and how I'm feeling and just sharing it and getting it out having someone listen just helps me be better for myself. And with the depression I also started struggling myself. I will say there was a little bit of substance involved. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions and I turned to not the right path I guess. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions and I really saw the family addiction in me.
I realized I'm not like other kids. Like I can't drink the way they do. Like I can't just have one and be okay. Whatever is going on in my family it's passed on to me and the routine just helps me be better. Like realize that doing all that stuff doesn't help me.
It's just an escape. Like I'm running from my problems and trying to escape and using all these things to just feel better but I just don't feel better. Having the support system without a teen is something I've never had before this. I've grown some really good connections and it's just like family. I'm really grateful to be here.
I think our team has really helped shape me. I'm able to live a life without constantly caring about what other people think. I'm allowed to do what I'm going to do without worrying about others. People live their own lives. It's not my job to control how they do it, what they do, when they do it.
If they want my help they will ask. I tried time and time again before I would just give people help and they wouldn't ask for it and they would get angry at me because I was budding into their lives and trying to help but they didn't want the help. I've realized if people want help they will come to me. I feel like I've just grown a lot as a person. I'm just really grateful for the program.
Thank you.